The Wish

The wind from the east blew heavily bringing with it sleet and snow. An hour later the heavy snow had quickly blanketed the train station and the tracks. The station master made a few calls. The outbound had to be cancelled as there had been an accident a few miles ahead of the station on the tracks. It was a late Friday evening and he was only too happy as he prepared the cancellation notice. Now he could close the station and get home just in time to catch the Knicks vs Timberwolves. The announcement of the accident and regret message of the train being cancelled went up and the passengers’ spirits went down.

Almost all of the tiny crowd that waited for the last train were journeying only a couple of stations down south. And they were all mostly workers at the Tudor Media production house that had its headquarters in this remote part of town a few miles east of downtown Kirkwood. The stranded passengers were all now busy spotting friends and coworkers with whom they could share a cab ride back home. Many quick acquaintances were made and the crowd soon grew thin. The last one left standing with a feeling of frustration was Josh. A minute ago his coworker Neil had asked Josh if they could take a cab together back home as they lived close to each other. Josh had told Neil he had to go further north that night and then change trains to the airport from where he was to fly out to Denver to visit his family. Wishing him luck getting his way out, Neil had left rather hurriedly hoping to pair up with someone else for the cab ride. Josh looked at his watch, it was 5 30 in the evening. The sun had set and it was dark as the station lights were turned off. He was waiting for the webpage on his iphone browser to come to life and finally it did. There it was, a bus was leaving to the airport at 6.00 pm and the bus station was a few miles away. Josh picked up his bag and for the first time since he had seen the train cancelled announcement, he started breathing easily. He quickly made his way to the cab stand and he got into the first one that stood in the small queue of cabs outside.

He leaned forward towards the driver and opened the tiny glass separator. "To the Shrewsbury bus station please" Josh said and then sat back. The engine whirred to life and the car started moving forward, as a knock sounded on the window and the cab driver applied the brakes hurriedly. "No one else please…" Josh was about to insist when he saw through the frosted glass a young woman's silhouette.

He pressed the down button for the window and a voice floated in "Where are you headed to?” Something about the voice jolted Josh. "Shrewsbury…" he whispered barely audible to himself.

"The bus station" repeated the driver. "I was headed that way too" the voice said. The driver was looking at Josh through the rearview and Josh nodded and moved to the other side. The door opened and she stepped in. Josh could not see her face as the sweater she wore had a rather oversized hood hiding her face. But the voice had been enough for Josh to know who it was.

Nadine Slyvester. A chill crept down his spine as his mind was filled with one question, "How did she find me here?"

Shuddering involuntarily and feeling trapped, Josh checked his pulse. It was racing. And for the first time in many years he panicked.

Josh and Nadine dated back in college eight years ago. Their relationship lasted only three months until Josh found someone better than Nadine. Annabel was a tall, blonde haired, blue eyed girl that Josh felt was in every way better than Nadine. Nadine was an average looking brown haired girl with deep black eyes whereas Josh was a stunning boy to look at. A soccer player at 6 feet 2 inches and a six pack abdomen that he had trained for in the gym for two years, Josh had been the most eligible single guy in his college. When he started dating Nadine everyone knew why he had settled for this plain Jane. Their relationship had begun under extraordinary circumstances. Nadine had been a frequent visitor at Josh's for she was his roommate Lenny's cousin. One evening Josh walked home to find Nadine sitting on the stone steps outside. Lenny had neither been answering the door bell nor picking up his phone. Josh opened the door and Nadine let herself in and hurried to Lenny's room. A piercing scream from within told Josh something had terribly gone wrong. He rushed in to see that Lenny was hanging from the ceiling. There was a letter. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer earlier that day and he had wanted a simple way out. The death of Lenny brought Nadine and Josh closer. They needed each other for the emotional support to overcome the grief and shock of Lenny's demise. And soon their needs had turned physical when she had come one night to collect Lenny's clothes to send them back to her Aunt.

In a week they were seen together in college, hand in hand. Two months later, Josh had met Annabel. From the moment he met her, he desired her. Nadine diminished into the oblivion and Annabel was his world. He broke up with Nadine within a month and started going out with Annabel. Deep down he felt he might be guilty of abandoning Nadine but he always told himself their relationship was never meant to be as it was founded on someone's death and not love or attraction. Josh told himself that it was only pity that had drawn him to Nadine and that he had shown her enough kindness for the last three months. And so he had made peace with himself. One evening Josh found Annabel in tears. Someone had started a rumor that she slept with men for money. Annabel had traced the sources of the rumors to Nadine and Josh was furious. But he could not bring himself to confront her. He knew he did not have the courage to look her in the eye. And so Josh had ended up comforting Annabel with mere words. A few more covert attacks later, Annabel was frustrated at Josh's inaction. She broke up with him and he never saw her again. A year later the pattern still continued. Every girl that became close to Josh was subjected to vicious gossip and rumors. The rumors were becoming increasingly hard to trace back. Apparently Nadine had become cleverer at the game as the days rolled by. In the end when they graduated Josh was single and had no one to dance with during the graduation party. The only other person in the room without a date was Nadine. She moved to Josh through the dance floor towards the bar where he stood alone watching the crowd. Their eyes met and Josh could see the anger fuming in Nadine's deep black eyes.

"How are you Josh?" she whispered. "I hope you know how it feels to be alone...do you now understand that I am the only one you can have?" she smiled gently. At that instant, the guilt he had been feeling all along broke. And all the pent-up anger inside Josh came surging up.

"You bitch! Leave me alone! If it was not for Lenny I would have never fucking touched you" he screamed.

"Don't you dare pull Lenny into this" Nadine whispered.

"Oh yes I will!" Josh shouted back breaking his glass against the counter. Everyone was now watching and Nadine's face went red. She looked around and then turned to Josh. "I won't leave you ever Josh. It was a huge mistake that you left me...but I won't leave you ever" Nadine said softly and with one final glare she left. The next evening Josh flew back to his parents, thousands of miles away from college and changed his phone number. The next summer Josh had found a job at Tudor Media as a junior Business Manager. He moved to the Missouri and he had cut himself out from the rest of the world he had known. The last thing he wanted was Nadine to be in his life again. Josh never signed up with Facebook or Twitter or any social networking site. And even if he did he used a different name and never uploaded his photographs or personal information. He had changed his email address and his parents and close friends knew that his number was never to be shared with anyone else. No one knew where he worked or where he lived.

He lived alone and he frequently brought back different women but somehow he never encouraged anything more than a one night stand. Sometimes he logged into his old email. It was always the same. Nadine's messages filled his Inbox. And he cleared them out without reading them. "I'm sorry" was always the subject. He also had mails on his Birthdays, Valentine, New Years Eve and on Christmas. But Josh knew that there was no way he would ever risk having Nadine back in his life. To him, she was a dangerous freak.

Eight years passed by and Josh was now a Business Manager awaiting promotion. He had consciously forgotten all about Nadine. All until that moment when he heard her voice coming in through the open window. Now he was sitting right next to his nemesis who had not only found where he lived and where he worked but also had followed him to the train station and to the cab. A small part of his mind told him it was impossible. In all these years, no one from his old life had contacted him. And it was nearly impossible for her to come to the train station exactly at a time when a snow storm would cancel the train so that she could hop on to the same cab he was taking conveniently. It was too much of a coincidence to have been planned before. He frowned as he thought that she could not have conjured up the snowstorm. But then maybe she wanted to meet him in the train and then hurriedly followed him to the cab...A million possibilities were running through his mind. And he was too afraid to even look in her direction again. A minute passed by and the cab was now on the highway. The girl was now looking at Josh and he could not help but return a glance. He was taken in by what he saw. It was Nadine as he had guessed but she looked totally different. Her hair was now a golden brown with soft curls. Her eyes sparkled in the dark and her lips were full and red. Nadine looked impossibly beautiful and alluring.

She smiled as he continued staring at her.

"What a small world! Josh, how have you been?" she was asking him. Josh could barely hear her words as he felt captivated by the beauty of her moving lips.

"G..Good. And you? God you look stunning Nadine" The words came out before he realized what he was saying.

She smiled again gently and murmured "Thanks".

"What are you doing here? How did you get here?" he stuttered.

"I came to interview for a position at a company here" she replied. "Assistant Vice President" she added.

"Oh...I work in the neighborhood too. Did you know that already?" he blurted.

"No," she replied coolly.

There was silence.

"I am going to the airport. Leaving to Denver tonight," Josh said after a while.

"Friends?" she queried.

"No family..." he replied.

"Give your family my best" Nadine said with a smile.

The uncomfortable silence continued as Josh took in more of Nadine's radiance.

"I'm sorry about all the mess - " he began. Nadine cut in.

"Don't worry Josh, I still think of you fondly. You see I was not mature or level headed back then. I was too taken in by the events that my mind could not rationalize. Now I am in a different place, and I can look back and only laugh at myself. Infact I should apologize to you and that's the only way I can keep my conscience clear forever" she said.

He nodded. It was the sanest thing anyone could say and hearing it from Nadine was something he had never expected would happen.

The cab was approaching the bus station.

"Are you getting off at the bus station?" Josh asked.

"No, I am going somewhere else..." Nadine replied. Somehow there was a slight tinge of sadness in her voice. Her eyes glistened in the dark but she heaved a big sigh of relief and smiled brightly at Josh. As the driver pulled into the curb, Josh scratched out his number and gave it to Nadine.

"It was pleasant seeing you! Wow...after all these years, who would have thought. Anyway call me" he grinned and got out. He kept staring at the cab as it moved on rejoining the traffic on the road. He thought he saw Nadine's face close to the window with a huge smile on her face but maybe he imagined it. He sighed and walked towards the ticket machine. His heart was heavy. He felt he had made a huge mistake all along. The countless email messages now haunted him. He wanted to make it up to her right away. He asked himself why he never asked her for her number. All he could now hope for was her call to him.

A few miles away, Sergeant Jerkins was giving orders to his men to clear the car that had collided with a train causing the cancellations earlier that evening. The car was damaged beyond recognition and there was blood everywhere. An ambulance had picked up the mangled remains of a dead woman an hour earlier. A bag had been thrown out by the impact of the accident and was lying unnoticed amongst the bushes. Out of this bag, a diary had fallen out. The pages fluttered around for a long time and finally laid to rest with one page looking up at the stormy sky. The open page read,

"Dear Diary, In a few hours I hope to meet him. After all these years, I have finally traced him. And all I had to do was pretend to call his house as his credit card agent! This could have sure saved myself a lot of time if I had done it seven years ago. Anyway, I think I can never forgive him for what he did to me back then. But I am moving on. And I cannot forgive myself if I don't make him see that I am in a much better place than I was. I want to talk to him come what may for one last time. After this meeting I will disappear just the way he did. That will be his punishment. He has to see me now and realize what he missed out. I know I no longer look like the geek I was in college. Now I am a complete woman... People may call me vain, but I know I can give someone like Angelina Jolie a run for her money. But this is not enough...when he sees me I should look divine and out of this world. He has to know forever that I was the one and that he had made a mistake in letting go of me. He has to know that try as he may he can never reach out to me again. He has to yearn for me forever...and never find me. He has to regret everyday from the moment he sees me. I hope destiny or fate or God ...whatever ct is that controls everything, chooses the best way to help me get what I want... I want him to search for me forever without ever finding me. This is my greatest wish... Nadine"

The snow fell fast again...the ink stained. The page was gone forever.